Only Real When Shared

The tragedy of Chris McCandless (AKA Alex Supertramp) is now omnipresent on my mind.  I at first found it hard to relate to him, due to the extreme example he sets, but the more I think about it the more I see myself in him.  I've felt that need to get away, to just run and never look back because sitting at home on my butt staring blankly at a computer screen while life goes on around me won't help me find myself, and it certainly won't give me the chance to apply myself to the world and see what I really can do.  I full-heartedly agree with the sentiment that people are meant to move, and are born with nomadic inclinations.  Even the thought of living in one place my entire life makes me queasy... maybe I have commitment issues or something.  But what I know I don't have is the willingness to let life pass on around me, while I casually fade in to society, my individual self getting lost as I become one more mindless machine droning on.  Chris and I share that sentiment, at least; finding oneself must be ones first priority.

Chris and I share another sentiment too.  Chris once wrote in his journal, soon before his untimely death, that "happiness is only real when shared."  This is something I've found to be true, possibly even the most true thing to my life that I've ever heard.  I've spent the last year or so figuring out who I am, and who I want to be.  The one thing I've learned beyond a doubt about myself is that I'm happier with an open heart.  I know now that talking and verbalizing emotions, even with people I don't know as well as I'd like, is the most healthy thing to do when I feel something strongly.  Some might say I'm too trusting, but I've learned that keeping things, negative or positive, to oneself results in nothing but internalized regret and, for me, in the need to physically escape.  Maybe this is why Chris ran away.  Maybe the fact that he kept so much to himself is the reason he felt the need to find himself; if he'd discovered this essential element of happiness sooner, I am almost certain that Chris would be alive now.  As Aristotle once pointed out, each person must find happiness for his or herself.  That is what Chris had been doing when he set out on his journey, and this single quote, which I only remembered after hearing Chris's mom mention it in an interview, would have changed Chris's life forever had he lived long enough to act on his words.

This is really the tragedy of Chris McCandless, for not only did he die while people loved him and missed him, he died with the realization that he needed them in his life.  He went on an extreme journey across the country, and at the end of it he finally found what he was looking for; a spiritual awakening.  The tragedy is that what he discovered was he couldn't be happy without the people he'd left behind.  Chris was going to change his life when  he died though.  This video of an interview with the man who's cabin Chris is accused of destroying introduces new evidence (by way of a secret wallet filled with cash and ID found in a hidden pocket of Chris's backpack) suggesting that Chris had no will to die out in the wild, but he fully intended to return alive and in good health to the people he cared about, and had planned to even before his spiritual awakening.

Chris is sorely missed by nearly all who knew him, yet even his mom and dad (see dad's interview below) understand that Chris's legacy lives on despite his death through his life story, which is still being taught today (for example, in select high school English classes).  Chris McCandless serves as a good role model for me, and in a way for all confused people trying to find themselves in a world they don't feel they fit into.  Chris's life shows us that escape is possible, and that with determination no societal rules can control one's life.  More importantly though, Chris's life shows us that escape isn't always necessary.  True happiness can be found in people, a retreat into nature will only help one find oneself while one is scared of facing things out in the open, with other people.  Chris teaches us all to be a little bit more open, honest, and trusting; to share our happiness so that it can be real for all of us, and so that we can find ourselves with each other as a community.